Crypto Dictionary Staging

Coin

noun | koyn A unit of magic internet money that you can use to buy drugs, JPEGs of apes, and the fleeting illusion of financial freedom.

Example

"Coin sounds so much classier than 'shitcoin,' 'scamcoin,' or 'Ponzicoin.' It's like putting lipstick on a pig, but the pig is your portfolio and the lipstick is your tears." "Whenever someone asks me what a 'coin' is, I just tell them it's like a digital version of those little plastic tokens you use to ride the kiddie rides at the mall. Except instead of getting a 30-second ride on a firetruck, you get to lose your rent money on Chinese pump-and-dumps."

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30 Apr 2024

Cold Wallet

noun | kohld wah·lit A device that stores your crypto offline, usually in the form of a USB stick or a hardware wallet that looks like a Tamagotchi from the year 2045.

Example

"I lost my cold wallet in a tragic boating accident. And by 'boating accident,' I mean I got high and microwaved it because I thought it was a Hot Pocket." "Using a cold wallet is like wearing a chastity belt for your crypto - sure, it keeps your coins safe from hackers and thieves, but it also means you can't access them without a lot of awkward fumbling and cursing."

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30 Apr 2024

Crypto Winter

noun | krip·toh win·ter Crypto winter is like getting kicked in the dick over and over again by the market - it's long, it's painful, and it makes you question all your life choices that led you to this point. It's a time when even the most diamond-handed HOODLERS start to feel like paper-handed bitches, and the only thing keeping you warm at night is the faint glow of your Blockfolio app as it slowly bleeds red.

Example

"I survived the crypto winter of 2018 by eating nothing but ramen noodles and selling feet pics on OnlyFans. Not my proudest moment, but hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to keep his $hitcoin bags alive." "Crypto winter? More like crypto BRRRRR - 'cause that's the sound my portfolio makes as it goes down the toilet faster than Taco Bell after a night of heavy drinking. Pray for me, fam."

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29 Apr 2024

Cryptocurrency

noun | krip·toh·kur·uhn·see Cryptocurrency is like Monopoly money on crack - it's all fun and games until someone loses their shirt (and their mortgage). It's that magical internet moolah that everyone and their grandma is talking about, even though most of them have no fucking clue how it actually works.

Example

"Cryptocurrency is like a giant game of musical chairs, except instead of chairs, it's digital coins, and instead of music, it's the sound of nerds arguing about blockchain on Twitter. And when the music stops, you better hope you're not the one left holding the bag (of worthless shitcoins)." "I tried to explain cryptocurrency to my Boomer dad and he just looked at me like I was speaking Klingon. He still thinks 'Bitcoin' is what you get when you put a quarter in one of those toy dispensers at the grocery store. Smdh."

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29 Apr 2024

Bear Market

noun | bair mahr·kit The financial equivalent of getting kicked in the nuts repeatedly by a steel-toed boot. Bear markets are like a game of 'the floor is lava', except instead of lava, it's a sea of red candles, and instead of winning, you just lose money.

Example

"The only thing going up in this bear market is my blood pressure and my therapist's hourly rate." "I'm not selling my bags in this bear market. I'm just 'strategically reallocating' them to my wife's boyfriend's portfolio."

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29 Apr 2024

Beacon Chain

noun | bee·kuhn cheyn The shining beacon of hope for Ethereum's scalability woes, or the world's most expensive participation trophy, depending on who you ask. The Beacon Chain is like the cool kid's table of the Ethereum ecosystem - everyone wants a seat, but nobody's quite sure how to get one.

Example

"I staked my ETH on the Beacon Chain because I believe in the future of Ethereum. Also, my wife's boyfriend said he'd give me my Nintendo Switch back if I did it." "The Beacon Chain is live! Only 5-10 more years until we can actually use it for something!"

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29 Apr 2024

Base

noun | beys The absolute unit of a blockchain that lays the foundation for all the dApps, tokens, and other assorted crypto fuckery that gets built on top of it. The base is like the bedrock of the crypto world - sturdy, reliable, and really fucking boring to talk about at parties.

Example

"I only invest in projects with a strong base, like Ethereum or my mom's spaghetti recipe." "The base layer of my investment strategy is 'buy high, sell low'. It's foolproof!"

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29 Apr 2024

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DIC stands for Definitions in Crypto. It is a dictionary for everything crypto and memecoins. And it is written by Degens like you.

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