noun | feer uhn·sur·tuhn·tee and dout
FUD is like when your grandma sees a news article about Bitcoin being used for illegal activities and tells you that you're gonna lose all your money and go to jail - it's the spreading of negative and often false information about a crypto project, in order to drive down the price. It's the weapon of choice for bitter noobs and paid shills alike.
Example
"Every time Bitcoin dips, the mainstream media starts spreading FUD about how it's a bubble and it's going to zero. Meanwhile, the same people who told you not to buy BTC at $1 are now telling you not to buy it at $50k. Fuck outta here with that noise."
"FUD is like kryptonite for bagholders - it's what makes them weak in the knees and quick to hit the sell button. But real OGs know that FUD is just an opportunity to buy more and HODL harder. We eat FUD for breakfast and shit out gains."
noun | fan toh·kuhns
Fan tokens are like the Beanie Babies of sports - they're digital collectibles that let you show off your loyalty to your favorite team, but they're also a speculative bubble waiting to burst. It's like throwing money at an athlete who's past their prime, hoping they'll return to their glory days.
Example
"I dropped $10k on a Paris Saint-Germain fan token because I thought Messi would take them to the moon this season. Now I'm holding heavy bags while watching Ligue 1 highlights on replay. At least I'll always have my digital scarf to keep me warm at night."
"Fan tokens are just another way for sports teams to extract money from their already broke-ass fans. It's like, 'Hey, you like our team? Prove it by giving us more of your money for this useless digital trinket! Dance, monkey, dance!'"
noun | iks·cheyhnj
An exchange is like a digital swap meet for degenerates and gamblers - it's a platform where you can trade your hard-earned fiat for magic internet money, and then lose it all on shitcoins and margin trading. It's like a casino, but with more scams and less free drinks.
Example
"I signed up for a shady exchange based in Malta that promised 100x leverage and no KYC. Next thing I know, my account is drained and my identity is being sold on the dark web. Lesson learned: never trust an exchange with a name that sounds like a Bond villain's lair."
"Centralized exchanges are like the Wal-Mart of crypto - they're convenient, but they're also soulless corporations that will sell you out to the feds faster than you can say 'not your keys, not your coins.'
DEXes are like the farmers market of crypto - they're more wholesome, but they're also full of scammers and hipsters trying to sell you overpriced organic shitcoins. Pick your poison, fam."
noun | ee·thur·skan
Etherscan is like the Facebook stalker of the Ethereumblockchain - it's a block explorer that lets you snoop on anyone's transactions and balances, so you can see who's been simping on OnlyFans or buying drugs on the dark web. It's like having a crystal ball that lets you peer into the sordid lives of degens and deviants alike.
Example
"I spent all night refreshing Etherscan to see if my 100x leveraged long on a food-themed memecoin would pay off. Spoiler alert: it didn't. Now I'm living off ramen and cope while my wife's boyfriend drives a Lambo. Such is life in the crypto casino."
"Whenever I feel sad, I just go on Etherscan and look up Vitalik Buterin's wallet to see how much ETH he's holding. It's like a digital security blanket that reminds me that even though I'm poor as fuck, at least I'm not the one who has to carry the weight of an entire ecosystem on my skinny Russian shoulders."
noun | ee·ahr·see - twen·tee
ERC-20 is like the basic bitch of Ethereum tokens - it's a standard that defines how tokens should behave on the Ethereumblockchain, so they can all play nicely together. It's like the Pumpkin Spice Latte of the crypto world - basic, ubiquitous, and loved by normies everywhere.
Example
"I made my own ERC-20token called 'ChadCoin' that rewards holders with dick pics and protein powder discounts. It's like OnlyFans meets GNC, but on the blockchain. Get in on the ground floor before this shit moons, bro!"
"Every ICO and their mom was launching an ERC-20token back in 2017, promising to revolutionize everything from supply chain management to online dating. Turns out, most of them were just shitcoins with fancy whitepapers and slick marketing. Who could've guessed?"
A Bloom Filter is like a super-efficient spam filter for blockchain data - it's a probabilistic data structure that can quickly check whether an element is part of a set, without having to store the entire set. It's like a magic trick that can tell you if something is in the hat, without having to pull out all the rabbits.
Example
"Bloom Filters are used in some blockchain protocols to speed up the process of verifying whether a transaction output has been spent or not."
"The downside of Bloom Filters is that they can sometimes give false positives, saying that an element is in the set when it's not - but for many applications, that's an acceptable trade-off for the improved efficiency."
The Blockchain Trilemma is like the "you can only pick two" meme of the crypto world - it refers to the trade-offs that blockchain designers have to make between security, decentralization, and scalability. It's like a game of rock-paper-scissors where you can't have all three at once.
Example
"Bitcoin prioritizes security and decentralization at the expense of scalability, which is why transactions can be slow and expensive during times of high network congestion."
"Many newer blockchains are trying to solve the Blockchain Trilemma with fancy new consensus mechanisms and sharding techniques, but it remains an ongoing challenge."
